I moved to New Jersey in the fall of 2003 and have learned some very interesting things — both good and bad. Here is a list of ten of them.

1. The Sopranos is real.
Though not as prevalent as it once was, the mafia is still very much active. Tactics have changed though, as now you see a lot more integration into the political system. A crime isn’t illegal if you’re mayor, right?

2. There are no freeways.
Coming from California, we call all highways “freeways,” that’s just how it is. However, when using the term with the locals here I am often greeted with a blank — what the hell are you talking about — stare. The reason, New Jersey highways such as the Turnpike and Parkway are not free; in fact, they’re rather far from it.

3. Avoid Newark at all costs.
Newark has the reputation of being a bad place, but unless you’ve been there extensively you really have no idea just how bad it can be. Case in point: the university I went to bordered on Newark and a few blocks away is where I saw my first (and still only thankfully) dead body. Not a pleasant sight.

4. The pizza everywhere else sucks.
New Jersey (and by proxy New York) has the best pizza you will ever come by in your entire life. Anyone who has eaten at a halfway decent pizza place will surely agree with me.

5. Guidos are everywhere, resistance is futile.
New Jersey has a well-known stereotype for being full of guidos. I’m sad to report that the stereotype is absolutely true. They seem to be bred from a young age to become fully blossomed guidos by adult age. Do not try to fight the trend, they have strength in numbers. Just do your best to ensure you’re not assimilated.

6. The Jersey Shore isn’t half bad.
There is a lot of negativity when discussing the Jersey Shore. Most people tend to brand it as “dirty” or “skanky.” In my experience the Jersey Shore has some very enjoyable and nice areas, such as Point Pleasant or Wildwood. But a word to the wise, try not to venture into Seaside Sleazside.

7. Children live at home until they’re 30.
Where I come from kids want to move out of their parents’ households as soon as they reach 18. In New Jersey, a surprisingly high number of people live at home until they are 25-30 years old.

8. Diners are awesome.
New Jersey has more 24-hour diners than you know what to do with. Growing up I was never fortunate enough to enjoy diners, as all we had was Denny’s. NJ diners are a drunk person’s ecstasy.

9. Everybody knows everybody.
New Jersey is a tiny state relative to some others. Whenever I go out with friends they run into people they know from all around the state. It’s not unusual to see someone in North Jersey and then again in South Jersey 2 hours later.

10. Harold and Kumar are lying to you.
Despite what Harold and Kumar would lead you to believe, White Castle is not a place you want to eat at. Without going into obscene detail, I’ll just say that there is a reason they are called “murder burgers.”